Marital

Question:

I have big problem with my wife. She always tells me I’m FAT and i must lose weight. Yet i am only 45 inch waist. She makes me go on a diet and don’t give me nice food. i get very frustrated every time i tell her there is nothing wrong with me but she keeps saying I must be healthy. i told her she must look at herself first then tell me. She always fights with me for this. Its becoming very annoying to the point i don’t feel like coming home, always she is moaning. There is no happy mood in the home. How must I solve this? Give me dua to make her normal please

 

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Brother in Islam,

Whilst marriage is a means of our comfort, it also presents many difficult challenges. Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) advised on the weak nature of women and tolerance towards them.

Our advice is you approach your wife with kindness and patience and express to her your feelings.

Proper communication is imperative for any partnership to nourish. Most marital issues are resolved by discussing them properly. Explain to your wife the difficulty you are facing and that the current situation is negatively affecting the relationship.

You may also approach a respected member of your family and discuss your concerns with that person with the hope that he/she will diplomatically address the issue with your wife, and make her understand the gravity of her attitude and conduct.

Also, show your spouse utmost love and affection. Love has the capacity to make the bitter turn sweet. Show her respect and interest and that she matters to you. Assist her. Supress arguments and anger. Forgive one another and use loving words and names. Focus on her good qualities, and most essentially is to have Sabr(patience). Not everything will be your way.

It may be an idea to commence Taleem in your house. An appropriate book on the character of Rasululallah Sallallahu Alahi Wasallam and his Sunnahs be chosen to read daily for about five to ten minutes. Taleem has the potential of redirecting a person’s thinking and conduct.

You should recite the following Dua:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا (الفرقان، الآية 74)

Our Sustainer, Grant us the coolness of our eyes from our spouses and children, and make us leaders of the pious.” (Qurān 25:74)

 

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Arshad Ali

Student Darul Iftaa
Trinidad

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

Question:

 

I intend to marry someone from Morocco.  Is it possible to do nikah or zawaj, over the phone, as I want to make it early. 

 

Answer:

 

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

 

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

If you live in Canada and the woman you wish to marry is in Morocco, and you marry her over the phone then the nikāh will not take place, although you made the ijāb (proposal) and the woman responded with the qabūl (acceptance) over the phone.[i]

 

The reason the nikāh is invalid is that the ijāb (proposal) and the qabūl (acceptance) must be witnessed by at least two physically present Muslim adult males or one Muslim adult male and two Muslim adult female.  This does not take place in a nikāh over the phone.  

  

The offer, acceptance and the physical presence of the witnesses must all take place in the same session and at the same place.[ii]  The Fuqahā (jurists) state that if one wants to get married to someone who is not present physically, he will have to assign a representative.  The boy or his representative and the girl or her representative, all have to be physically present in the identical geographical location.

 

If you want to marry the woman from Canada whilst she is in Morocco, you will have to perfrom nikāh by proxy.  Nikah by proxy can take place in the following methods:

  1. 1)Appointing a representative over the phone.
  2. 2)Appointing a representative by a letter, email or text message.

 

Arranging a nikah by proxy via a telephone:

 

An example of you arranging a nikāh by proxy is that you delegate a person as your representative to get you married to the woman in Morocco.  You should have two people witnessing the act of delegating the representative to get you married to the woman in Morocco.  In the presence of two adult Muslim male witnesses or one adult Muslim male and two adult Muslim females, your representative will then propose to the woman or her representative in Morocco on your behalf and in order to solemnise the marriage, she or her representative will accept the proposal.  This will be the correct method to perform a marriage by proxy via a telephone.

 

 

Reason why the above is valid:

  • The offer and acceptance are taking place in one geographical location.
  • A proxy is being used to facilitate an overseas marriage.
  • The witnesses are witnessing your proposal and the woman’s acceptance consecutively in one gathering and in an identical geographical location.

 

Arranging a nikah by letter:

 

You send a letter to Morocco to a specific person appointing him to act on your behalf.  You have two people witnessing the act of delegating the specific person who will propose to the woman on your behalf.  The representative will propose n the presence of two adult Muslim male witnesses or one adult Muslim male and two adult Muslim females and the woman will accept the proposal.

 

Reasons why the above is valid:

  • The offer and acceptance are taking place in one geographical location.
  • A proxy is being used to facilitate an overseas marriage.
  • The witnesses are witnessing your proposal and the woman’s acceptance consecutively in one gathering and in an identical geographical location.

 

An example of a letter wherein proxy takes place:

 

I............., appoint ................... as my representative to marry me to ................. of Morocco, in the presence of two witnesses, namely ................ and .................

 

All three will sign the document.     

 

You cannot propose to the lady directly and receive an acceptance via a voicecall, skypecall or videocall. 

 

Via a telephone/skype call/video call direct:

 

If you call the woman by means of a voice call or a video call and you propose and she accepts, the nikāh will be invalid.  There maybe witnesses on both sides witnessing the acceptance and proposal.  But it is still invalid.

 

Reasons why the above is invalid:

  • The offer and acceptance are not taking place in one geographical location.
  • The witnesses are not physically witnessing the offer and the corresponding acceptance in one geographical location.

 

 

Some people incorrectly believe that it is sufficient having the speaker phone aloud with witnesses on both sides listening.  This is incorrect and clearly against the view of all the Fuqahā.[iii]

 

The agent representing any spouse can be anyone, including the father, grandfather, brother, uncle, sister of the girl.[iv]        

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mufti Farazal- Mahmudi

UK

 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net



[i] وفي الدر المختار من نسخة رد المحتار

(وَ) شُرِطَ (حُضُورُ) شَاهِدَيْنِ (حُرَّيْنِ) أَوْ حُرٌّ وَحُرَّتَيْنِ (مُكَلَّفَيْنِ سَامِعَيْنِ قَوْلَهُمَا مَعًا) عَلَى الْأَصَحِّ (فَاهِمَيْنِ) أَنَّهُ نِكَاحٌ عَلَى الْمَذْهَبِ (ج 3 ص 33-31 أيج أيم سعيد)

 

وكذا في فتاوى عثماني ج 2 ص 304 مكتبة معارف القرآن

 

وكذا في كتاب الفتاوى ج 4 ص 306-304 زمزم

 

Contemporary Fatawa p.132

[ii]  وفي شرح فتح القدير

وصورة اختلاف المجلس أن يوجب أحدهما فيقوم الآخر قبل القبول أو يكون قد اشتغل بعمل آخر يوجب اختلاف المجلس ثم قيل لا ينعقد لأن الانعقاد هو ارتباط أحد الكلامين بالآخر وباختلاف المجلس يتفرقان حقيقة وحكما فلو عقدا وهما يمشيان أو يسيران على الدابة لا يجوز وإن كانا في سفينة سائرة جاز (ج 3 ص 192 دار الفكر)

[iii]  كذا في فتاوى محمودية ج11 ص 532 إدارة الفاروق

 

وفي درر الحكام

(قَوْلُهُ: وَيَنْعَقِدُ بِإِيجَابٍ وَقَبُولٍ) أَيْ فِي مَجْلِسٍ؛ لِأَنَّهُ يُشْتَرَطُ لِصِحَّةِ الْقَبُولِ الْمَجْلِسُ كَالْبَيْعِ لَا الْفَوْرُ وَصُورَةُ اخْتِلَافِ الْمَجْلِسِ أَنْ يُوجِبَ أَحَدُهُمَا فَيَقُومُ الْآخَرُ قَبْلَ الْقَبُولِ أَوْ يَشْتَغِلُ بِعَمَلٍ يُوجِبُ اخْتِلَافَ الْمَجْلِسِ (ج 1 ص 326)

 

وفي البحر الرائق

فَالْحَاصِلُ أَنَّ اخْتِلَافَ الْمَجْلِسِ حَقِيقِيٌّ بِاخْتِلَافِ الْمَكَانِ (ج 2 ص 136 أيج أيم سعيد)

 

وفي الدر المختار من نسخة رد المحتار

وَمِنْ شَرَائِطِ الْإِيجَابِ وَالْقَبُولِ: اتِّحَادُ الْمَجْلِسِ (ج 3 ص 14 أيج أيم سعيد)

 

وفي المحيط البرهاني

فكأن المرسل حضر نفسه وعبر عن نفسه بين يدي الشهود (ج 4 ص 84 إدارة القرآن)

 

[iv]  وفي الأحكام الشرعية في الأحوال الشخصية

يجوز للزوج وللزوجة أن يتوليا عقد نكاحهما بأنفسهما وأن يوكلا به من شاءا (ج 1 ص 163 دار السلام)

 

 

By:Abdul Hannan Nizami

Darul Iftaa Student

Faculty of Jurisprudence & Islamic Verdicts

 

Question:

If the husband over the phone says ' here's your talaaq, take it and go, here's another talaaq, take it and go and here's your last one take it and go One time is this talaaq valid? Is the marriage over? There were no witnesses.

 

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

You have stated that your husband has uttered the following three sentences:

  1. 1.“Here’s your talaaq, take it and go.”
  2. 2.“Here's another talaaq, take it and go.”
  3. 3.“And here's your last one.”

With regards to the first two sentences, two Talaaq-e-Rajees’ (revocable divorces) have taken place as these two sentences clearly mention the word Talaaq.[1]

However, the third sentence does not contain the word Talaaq. Hence, if your husband intended to give you Talaaq with the third statement, then the third Talaaq has also taken place and both of you no longer remain as husband and wife.

Nevertheless, if your husband did not intend to give you Talaaq with the third statement, then the third Talaaq has not take place.

Furthermore, when the husband utters the words of Talaaq and he intends to direct the Talaaqs towards his wife, then it does not matter whether the witnesses are present or not. The Talaaqs will take place without the witnesses.

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 



[1] إذا قال: خذي طلاقك يقع (المحيط البرهاني في الفقه النعماني، ج3ص210، دار الكتب العلمية)

خذي طلاقك يقع من غير نية كذا هاهنا (المحيط البرهاني في الفقه النعماني، ج3ص211، دار الكتب العلمية)

وَمِنْهُ: خُذِي طَلَاقَك فَقَالَتْ أَخَذْت، فَقَدْ صَرَّحَ الْوُقُوعَ بِهِ بِلَا اشْتِرَاطِ نِيَّةٍ كَمَا فِي الْفَتْحِ، وَكَذَا لَا يُشْتَرَطُ قَوْلُهَا أَخَذْت كَمَا فِي الْبَحْرِ (الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار)، ج3ص248، دار الفكر)

وَلَوْ قال لها خُذِي طَلَاقَك يَقَعُ من غَيْرِ نِيَّةٍ كَذَا هَهُنَا كَذَا في الْمُحِيطِ (الفتاوى الهندية، ج1ص383، دار الفكر)

الْفَصْلُ الْخَامِسُ في الْكِنَايَاتِ  لَا يَقَعُ بها الطَّلَاقُ إلَّا بِالنِّيَّةِ أو بِدَلَالَةِ حَالٍ (الفتاوى الهندية، ج1ص374، دار الفكر)

 

KHARWASTAN

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