Marital

Question:

Please could you stipulate the ruling for:- the suitable metals a Muslim man can wear for a wedding ring.

As a bride to be I would like to know who can walk with me into the wedding reception? as my biological father has never been part of my life.

I have a step-father, step brother, male cousin (non-muslim) & 2 uncles (non-muslim). Please advise. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated.

 


Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

A male may wear only a silver ring which weighs no more than 4.374 grams. It is not permissible for a male to wear a ring of any other metal at all or silver exceeding 4.374 grams.[1]

In your second query you mentioned “who can walk with me into the wedding reception” step father, cousin or brother. It is clear from this that your reception will be a mixed gathering which is haram and a major sin. Such practices deprive one of the mercy of Allah. We advise you to conduct your wedding in a simple way and adhere to the guidelines of Sharī’ah. You will observe the barakah of such a wedding in your life.

Hereunder, are some guidelines for a Nikāh to be in accordance with the laws of Sharia:

  • Ø The present day practice of intermingling of the genders at a Nikāh is an act of sin and against Shariah.
  • Ø Customs in Nikah which are contrary to the teachings and the laws of Shariah are prohibited.
  • Ø Imitating the customs of non-Muslims is prohibited. For example, walking down the aisle etc.
  • Ø It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
  • Ø The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast have no basis in Shariah.
  • Ø Any law of Allah Ta’āla should not be violated (e.g. allowing the salaah to become qadha, intermingling of sexes, taking loans on interest, photography, music, etc.).
  • Ø The Nikah should be kept as simple as possible as it is known that simplicity is the spirit of the Sunnah. Also Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “The Nikah that earns the most blessing is that Nikah wherein the least expenses are incurred.” (Baihaqi)

Also, it is permissible for your step-father to represent you in the Nikah.

May Allah bless your marriage with Barakah. Aameen

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Saleem Khan

Student Darul Iftaa
Bradford, UK

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net



[1] (قَوْلُهُ وَالْعَقِيقِ) قَالَ فِي غُرَرِ الْأَفْكَارِ وَالْأَصَحُّ أَنَّهُ لَا بَأْسَ بِهِ، «لِأَنَّهُ – عَلَيْهِ الصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ – تَخَتَّمَ بِعَقِيقٍ» وَقَالَ: «تَخَتَّمُوا بِالْعَقِيقِ فَإِنَّهُ مُبَارَكٌ» وَلِأَنَّهُ لَيْسَ بِحَجَرٍ إذْ لَيْسَ لَهُ ثِقْلُ الْحَجَرِ، وَبَعْضُهُمْ أَطْلَقَ التَّخَتُّمَ بِيَشْبٍ وَبَلُّورٍ وَزُجَاجٍ (قَوْلُهُ وَعَمَّمَ مُنْلَا خُسْرو) أَيْ عَمَّمَ جَوَازَ التَّخَتُّمِ بِسَائِرِ الْأَحْجَارِ حَيْثُ قَالَ بَعْدَ كَلَامٍ فَالْحَاصِلُ: أَنَّ التَّخَتُّمَ بِالْفِضَّةِ حَلَالٌ لِلرِّجَالِ بِالْحَدِيثِ وَبِالذَّهَبِ وَالْحَدِيدِ وَالصُّفْرِ حَرَامٌ عَلَيْهِمْ بِالْحَدِيثِ

(رد المحتار علي الدر المختار، ج ٦، ص ٣٦٠، ايج ايم سعيد كمبني)؛

 

البحر الرائق شرح كنز الدقائق ومنحة الخالق ج ٨ ص ٢١٧

وفي الحاوي: ولا بأس أن يتخذ الرجل خاتم فضة فإن جعل فصه من عقيق أو ياقوت أو فيروزج أو زمرد فلا بأس به وإن نقش عليه اسمه أو اسم أبيه أو اسم من أسماء الله فلا بأس به ولا ينبغي أن ينقش عليه تماثيل من طير أو هوام الأرض

 

 

[الهداية ج 4 ص 450  مكتبه رحمانيه]

 

[فتاوى محموديه ج 19 ص 344 فاروقيه]

Question:

 

1)Want to find out the correct procedure of a nikaah/waleemah.
2)what is the sunnat method/what are the sunnats of a nikaah..
3)After the nikaah is performed..how does the groom meet the bride, is it done in privacy or infront of the family?
4) Is there a salaah that the bride and groom read toghether...
5)Is there any such thing as giving the groom milkshake/sarbat...
6)Any advices for the bride and groom...

 

 

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykumwa-rahmatullāhiwa-barakātuh.

Your zeal and enthusiasm to follow the Sunnah is a sign of your love for Deen and Rasulullah (Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam). May Allah Ta'ala continue increasing your eagerness and passion of implementing the sunnahs in your life. Ameen. 

Nikāh is considered an act of 'Ibadah  and is a great Sunnah of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalaam). In order to attain full blessings and Barakah of Nikāh, one should conduct the Nikāh according to the Sunnah.

 

 It is advisable (Mustahab) to:[1]

  • Perform the Nikāh in a Masjid.
  • Perform Nikāh on a Friday, preferably after Jumah Salāh.
  • Keep the Nikāh as simple as possible.
  • Distribute dried dates after the Nikāh.
  • Congratulate the bride and groom with the following Dua:

بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما وجمع بينكما في خير

Transliteration: Baarakallhu Lakuma wa baaraka 'alaykuma wa jam'a baynakuma fe kayr.

 

Translation: May Allah bless both of you, shower His blessings on both of you, and grant both of you a pleasant and prosperous life.

 

Method of Performing Nikāh.

It is Sunnah to commence the performance of Nikāh with a Khutbah. An easy Khutbah such as this one could be recited:

اَلْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوْذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا ,مَنْ يَهْدِى اللَّهُ فَلاَ مُضِلَّ لَهُ , وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلاَ هَادِيَ لَهُ , وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ .

The following three verses of the Quran will be recited thereafter:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُوْلُوا قَوْلاً سَدِيْدًا , يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَالَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوْبَكُمْ , وَمَنْ يُّطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزًا عَظِيْمًا.

 

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَّفْسٍ وَّاحِدَةٍ وَّخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالاً كَثِيرًا وَّنِسَاءً وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِيْ تَسَاءَلُوْنَ بِهِ وَاْلأَرْحَامَ , إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا.

 

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلاَ تَمُوتُنَّ إِلاَّ وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ.

 

After this, the one who is conducting the Nikāh will address you and say:

“I propose to marry A, daughter of B, to you in lieu of $… as dowry, do you accept?”

You in turn will say, “Yes, I do accept.”

Once these steps are carried out, the Nikāh will be complete and valid.

 

How the Husband Should Meet His Wife.[2]

  1. 1.When the newly married couple meet after the Nikāh, they should greet each other by saying " As-salāmu ‘alaykumwa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh".
  2. 2. the husband should place his hand on his wife's forelock (front part of the head) and recite the following supplication:

للَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ خَيْرَهَا وَخَيْرَ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَمِنْ شَرِّ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ.

Transliteration: Allahumma inni as'aluka khayraha wa khayra ma jabaltaha 'alayhi wa a'udhu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma jabaltaha 'alayh.

Translation: "0 Allah! I ask from you the good of her and the good with which you have created her, and I seek refuge with you from the evil in her and the evil with which you have created her."

  1. 3.If possible, the newly married couple should perform two Rak'aats of Nafl Salāh, preferably in congregation, with the intention of thanks-giving (Shukr) and need (Hajah). After the prayer, they should praise Allah Most High and send blessings on His Messenger . and thank Allah for blessing them with this great gift of marriage. They should ask Allah to bless their union with goodness, prosperity, mutual love and the birth of pious offspring.

 

  1. 4.The couple should try to get to know each other by initiating in a light-hearted discussion.

 

Walima:

After the marriage is consummated, it is Sunnah to have a Walima. The Walima should be held according to the financial ability of the individual. No unnecessary debts or loans should be undertaken.

 

 

Tips For a Succesfull Mariage by Muft Ebrahim Desai Damat-Barakatuhum.

1.      Fear Allah:

It was the noble practice of Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam* to conscientize (warn) the spouses about the fear of Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Qur’ān. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2.     Never be angry at the same time:

Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah salallahualayhi wasallam and sought some advice. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3.     If one has to win an argument, let it be the other:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4.     Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire:

Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: “and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)

5.     If you have to criticize, do it lovingly:

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6.     Never bring up mistakes of the past:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7.     Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)

8.     Never sleep with an argument unsettled:

Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9.     At least, once every day, express your gratitude to your partner:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness:

 Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)

 

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Abdullah Ghadai

Student DarulIftaa
Michigan, U.S.A

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

 

 

 



[1] Ashrafs Blessings of Marriage.4th Edition, Printed by Aminah Studios Dewsbury UK

[2] Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Ibn Adam.

 Printed by Huma Press

Question:

A married non-Muslim woman embraces Islam will she remain living with her husband who refuses to become a Muslim or will her nikah break? Also how much time does the husband have to make up his mind whether he wants to embraces Islam or not.



Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

In principle, if a woman accepts Islam and her husband does not accept Islam, and if the husband clearly mentions that he will not accept Islam then, she should separate from her husband. In this case they will no longer remain husband and wife and she will sit for her waiting period (iddah) immediately which is three menstrual cycles if she experiences menses or three months if she does not experience menses. [1]

 

 However, if the husband does not clearly mention that he will not accept Islam, then the wife will wait for three menses to pass. If the husband does not accept Islam before the wife’s waiting period (three menses) end then, they will no longer remain husband lam wife. [2]

 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Ismail Dawoodjee

Student Darul Iftaa
Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net

[1] واذا اسلم احد الزوجين المجوسيين فى دار الاسلام عرض القاضى الاسلام على الاخر فان صرح بالاباء فالقاضى لايعرض عليه الاسلام مرة اخرى ويفرق بينهما فان سكت ولم يقل شياء فالقاضى يعرض عليه الاسلام مرة بعد مرة حتى يتم الثلاث احتياطا (تاترخانية ج10 ص272 م زكريا)

(وإذا) (أسلم أحد الزوجين المجوسيين أو امرأة الكتابي عرض الإسلام على الآخر، فإن أسلم) فيها (وإلا) بأن أبى أو سكت (فرق بينهما، ولو كان) الزوج (صبيا مميزا) اتفاقا على الأصح (الدر المختار)

(قوله أو سكت) غير أنه في هذه الحالة يكرر عليه العرض ثلاثا احتياطا، كذا في المبسوط نهر (قوله فرق بينهما) وما لم يفرق القاضي فهي زوجته، حتى لو مات الزوج قبل أن تسلم امرأته الكافرة وجب لها المهر( رد المحتار ج3 ص188 سعيد)

 

[2] وان اسلم احد الزوجين فى دار الحرب فان الفرقة تقف على مضى ثلاث حيض و فى الينابيع أو يمضى عليها ثلاثة أشهر ان كانت ممن لاتحيض فاذا مضت وقعت الفرقة (تاترخانية ج10 ص272 م زكريا)

جواهر الفقه ج4 ص290 م دار العلوم كراتشى

الحيلة الناجزة للحليلة العاجزة ص105 دار الاشاعت

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KHARWASTAN

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