Question:

I am 18 years old muslım gırl lıvıng wıth my mother and father and 3 sıblıngs. ı have sınned and ım not proud and my sıns have caused me to fall ınto deep depressıon whıch ı feel ı cannot express any feelıngs wıth my parents. ı really want to leave home and take tıme out for myself for a lıttle whıle. ı know once ı leave my famıly wıll dıs own me because they wıll see ıt as ı am wantıng to do more haram when truthfully ı want to fınd myself by myself and re kındlıng my faıth and relatıonshıp towards Allah. ı feel ı need to do thıs alone and lıvıng at home just makes me want to sın and sın and sın agaın and ı keep dısappoıntıng everybody around me and ı hate ıt. ı need some advıce on what ı should do. ı have a job offer ın a cıty ı really want to take and ı have found a place but ım scared my famıly wıll never accept me agaın and ı wont be able to see my sıblıngs eıther. I dont want to betray them but ı am sımply unhappy and need tıme to my self. ı have trıed explaınıng but ıts no use. ı want to get ın touch wıth ıslam and be at peace wıth myself. how do ı go about thıs

 

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatuh.

Sister in Islam,

It is encouraging to hear your spirit to abhor sins as this is a true sign of your Imaan. May Allah keep you steadfast in overcoming your challenge. Ameen.

At the outset, it is important to understand that as humans, Allah Ta’ala has created us weak. Consider the following verse of the Quraan;

وَخُلِقَ الْإِنْسَانُ ضَعِيفًا

And humans have been created weak (4-28)

It is natural for a human to commit errors and mistakes. No human on the face of this earth is free from making mistakes. This is one of the ideal qualities that differentiate humans from angels. Angels have been created with perfection and thus, cannot commit any mistakes. Humans on the other hand, have been created in such a way that they cannot turn away from making mistakes. Ideally, if a human makes a mistake or sins then he can reach a higher stage than an angel by repenting to Allah, simply because Angels cannot commit sins.

Allah is Most Merciful and Most Kind. He is always ready to forgive when his servants commit a sin. The love that Allah has for his servants is greater that even the love a mother has for her breastfeeding child. Allah has created us in a manner that we commit sins so that we may turn to him in complete submission and repentance. Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said:

وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَوْ لَمْ تُذْنِبُوا لَذَهَبَ اللهُ بِكُمْ، وَلَجَاءَ بِقَوْمٍ يُذْنِبُونَ، فَيَسْتَغْفِرُونَ اللهَ فَيَغْفِرُ لَهُمْ

By that being (Allah) in who’s hand my life lies in, If you do not commit sins then Allah will destroy you and will create a nation who sin, who then asks of Allahs forgiveness and Allah will forgive them ( Sahih Muslim, Vol. 4, Pg. 2106)

It does not mean that a person should commit sins continuously, rather, it means that Allah loves his servants to turn to him in submission when they commit sins. With such great mercy and clemency of Allah, a person can never feel despondent of the help of Allah. Allah mentions in the Quraan:

قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Say (to my servants Oh Rasoolullah), do not be despondent of the mercy of Allah over that which you have transgressed. Verily, Allah is the forgiver of all sins. He is the Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (39-53)

Allah dislikes despondency in him from his servants. The mercy of Allah is extremely vast. Every opportunity should be taken in attracting the mercy of Allah to forgive our sins.

We advise you to keep contact with a pious person in order for you to progress spiritually. You should try your best to disconnect or limit yourself from those avenues which become a means of you doing wrong. Seek the guidance from a reputable family member to assist you. Listen to Deeni talks of the scholars and read Deeni books. Focus on improving yourself while living with your family. By leaving your family and disconnecting with them may not solve your problem. In fact, it could be dangerous for your Deen and Imaan.

May Allah help your in overcoming your obstacles. Ameen.

And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Ismaeel Bassa

Student Darul Iftaa

Durban South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net

 

 

 

 

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